Here are some tell-tale signs it’s gonna be a bad day. If any of these things happen, DO NOT leave the house. Crawl back into bed and start over again tomorrow.
– You wake up face down on the pavement.
– You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
– You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
– Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
– Your income check bounces.
– Your pet rock snaps at you.
– Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
– Your wife says, “Good morning, Bill” and your name is George.
– Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
– You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city.
More joke’s can be found here at This Weeks Funny